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23rd Feb 2023
1hr 38mins

Episode 13 | Ian Faria | Mind Coach

Ian Faria is a mind coach focused on the top end of Leadership. He covers the whole gamut of attitude and communication skills training programmes.

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Djagmo: Welcome to the Knowledge Entrepreneurs Show, where we celebrate the innovators driving change in the education industry at Edison Os. We've worked with over 500 knowledge entrepreneurs to turn their ideas into profitable businesses. In this episode of The Knowledge Entrepreneur Show, we have Ian Farer.

Djagmo: Ian Farer is a mine coach who focuses on the top end of leadership and covers the whole gamut of attitude in communication skills, training programs. Okay, great. Um, Ian, first of all, thank you so much, uh, for, uh, taking time out and, uh, accepting to be a part of this podcast. Uh, my pleasure, entirely. My pleasure.

Djagmo: So, uh, you know, before I start over this podcast in the top questioning and all, just a brief introduction about what this is about. Sure. Um, you know, for the sake of a listeners as well as, you know, just a repetition for the both of us so that, you know, the podcast can, uh, be as aligned as possible with the purpose of this show.

Djagmo: Uh, so as you see, the name of the show is called, you know, the Knowledge Entrepreneur Show. So we've been having, um, entrepreneurs in the knowledge domain or in the education domain as guests or speakers. So far we've, we've spoken to about 12 to 13 of them so far, and, um, our. Chat must have happened, uh, sometime back, but, you know, it just got pushed a little.

Djagmo: Um, at that point, I think we were about eight people done, so we did about five more people after that. Uh, we had a chance. So, uh, we, uh, we are basically an education technology company, teach Edison. And uh, what we do is we offer online learning infrastructure, uh, to trainers and academics, uh, where they can, uh, conduct their programs and, you know, they can literally, anybody can run a school from end to end, from, you know, lead generation to payments.

Djagmo: Everything is taken care. And, uh, given that we are in this business, you know, uh, putting out content is very important for any business. Makes sense. And, uh, look, you can only do so much content, right? It's all repurposing. After some point, there's literally not much uniqueness left. It's a little difficult and uh, this is a niche industry and then, you know, creating content for this industry gets even more difficult.

Djagmo: So, and then, you know, we were coming across some, uh, videos on YouTube and then we came across this podcast, uh, similar to, you know, what we are doing, but then not in this domain, but in the SaaS domain, you know, where this host who interview all the SaaS founders. And then we thought, okay, why not? Uh, you know, we try this with, uh, people from the knowledge domain and, you know, and for somebody who's been there, done that, um, A simple conversation can bring out so much of insights and, uh, this conversation further, you know, will be converted into blogs and stuff like that.

Djagmo: And we can add value to people out there, you know, who would be trainers or teachers, right? And who are probably aspiring to become something, you know, or not only help them become something, also help them not to become something by helping them realize, you know, this is probably not for them. They'll, they'll be better off, you know, just being trainers or teachers working with somebody else because entrepreneurship's not for everybody, right?

Djagmo: Um, so that's also a value add. So that's where, you know, we thought we'll have this, uh, show, um, Yeah. Uh, so from that regard, I'm already, uh, you know, uh, pretty, uh, confident, uh, from our conversation that, you know, uh, this chat is gonna bring out a lot of interesting stuff, you know, um, and also gonna be a little entertaining.

Djagmo: That's not something that I've expected from any of our other guests.

Ian Faria: Okay. Let's make it entertaining and fun also.

Djagmo: Come on. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing like it. So, uh, Ian, my first question is very simple. Always, you know, um, just to build a connection with the audience that are listening to us. Uh, nobody knows about Ian Farer so far, right?

Djagmo: And I'll definitely be making a short introduction in the post production, but I'd like to hear it from you. Can you, uh, tell us about yourself, you know, you're here today. Uh, if you can go back as much as you want, uh, something personal childhood, how did you come here and, you know, what led you to this?

Ian Faria: Okay. Brilliant question. To open the round. So, ju now I, I'd like to start right from the choice of career, the first career. Right, right. When I was in school, my dad was in the merchant Navy. I did a trip with him, six month trip on the ship. Okay. My mom. And, uh, at that time I was enamored by this white uniform and applets and PE cap and white stockings, black shoes.

Ian Faria: It was like, you know what? I wanted to be just, you get that impression and dad is always like, you know, for any, most people, dad, mom become like role models, right? So at that time, I decided I want to be a merchant Navy officer, plus the other fris and benefits where you could get imported things, you could go around the world, you know, those days the import was very difficult into India.

Ian Faria: So we were the only kids who had foreign shoes, foreign clothes, foreign, you know, two in ones. You know, we had a lot of things at home mixes, you know, and Mixi was not taught of in Bangalore, right? So you know that as a kid you build a, a desire caution. Late. So I wanted to join. So I joined, fought with my mom and already rejoined.

Ian Faria: But uh, finally realized about seven years later, I'd already done two exams and realized that this is not really testing my intelligence late. It taught me to be tough. It taught me to be really tough. It taught me to manage with two hours, three hours of sleep. Wow, okay. Yeah. So it, it made me really tough.

Ian Faria: So I, I have 1000%, you know, admiration for the Merchant Navy, but it was not appealed for me. So I left, I got married. I said, I can't live without you. So I said, okay. I believed her. And, uh, of course, one year later she said, why don't you join back the Merchant Navy

Ian Faria: for this lady? And she, Hey, boss, why don't you join back? These things happen. But then my next career was the, was as a builder. And people said, but you don't have any experience as a builder, you don't have a business background as a family. Uh, you don't have so many things, right? So what, what are you trying?

Ian Faria: So I said, uh, see, doesn't really matter. I want to do this. And we had a family property on Level Road. So that was my first project as a developer, right? Without finance, without any background, without any technical knowledge, I jumped into it, right? 14 projects later and 14 years later, I decided is to watch a corruption in this line and I can't take it.

Ian Faria: So I said, that's it, I'm quitting. And, uh, you know, by that time I got, uh, by chance I was also a Rotarian. So I got a chance to do some one or two sessions of, uh, of leadership training. And it was highly appreciated. The started asking me to train their companies. Right. And, uh, so training and coaching almost happened just like that.

Ian Faria: The universe opened the door. I walked through it, right? So that was my career path. And this was 26, 27 years ago. I'm talking. So therein started my third career, which is training. And later on I got into coaching on my own. And, uh, that's it. Uh, I've also been good at whatever I do. So things worked for me.

Ian Faria: I read a lot. I read about a book a day. I'm constantly upping my knowledge. I'm a self-taught guy. So that is my, uh, my background. One of the big, uh, feathers in my cap is, you know, when Nicole went on to win Miss India, miss Earth, that's my daughter. Okay. Oh, great. You trained your daughter and, you know, she reached international level and international winner for India.

Ian Faria: Wow. So, you know, you, you get to take some of that credit, but although it was her hard work. Yeah. So that, that's it. A brief. Uh, my son is, uh, into real estate. Uh, you know, he does some consultancy work. My wife is an entrepreneur and her own writer does her own business successful in our own way. So we, we, that's, that's our family.

Djagmo: Great. Uh, congratulations on, you know, a lot of things that you said and, uh, you can definitely take credit. Uh, you know, definitely it's, uh, the kids is hard work, uh, but as parents I think you definitely have had a role to play, uh, in the background. So, yeah. Um, that's not a bad thing, uh, to take a little bit of credit, I think.

Djagmo: Um, Ian, uh, you know, when you were talking about, um, your beginning of, um, you know, how you started off your leadership training or your mind coaching and all those things you told, uh, you said about, uh, training and coaching. Um, what's the difference between training and, you know, what is it to coach and what is it to train?

Ian Faria: Okay. So I'll give you some differentiators along the way. Right. So training is differentiated from teaching. Teaching is about giving knowledge. Okay. Training is about bringing in behavioral change. Mm. So I wanna break that difference between teaching and training. Okay. So, lot of teachers think they can become trainers, but it's not the same thing.

Ian Faria: Mm-hmm. Cause as a teacher, you're just giving on rolling out knowledge and testing it on knowledge. Uh, training is where you bring about behavioral change. You ask them to accept the knowledge, action it, and then make the change in behavior that is trained. Right. Coaching is one-on-one. It's like how we are talking now.

Ian Faria: It's one-on-one, it's private, it's confidential. Mm-hmm. And, uh, they look at people holistically. If you're, depending on what type of coaching you're doing, if I'm doing leadership coaching, the focus is mainly on developing leadership skills in the coaching. Okay. If I'm doing mind coaching, however, I'm teaching you how to organize this portion of the brain.

Ian Faria: Right. It's, uh, you know, it's holistic because they say the same brain that goes to the office right, goes home at night, right. Or the same brain goes to a Sunday lunch with the society, right? So it's the same brain. If you don't, uh, you don't tackle that brain properly somewhere or the other, you're going to find some deficits.

Ian Faria: Right. So right now I'm purely into mind coaching, but mind coaching is a wider canvas. It covers everything from success coaching to business coaching, to leadership coaching, to team coaching. It covers a lot of different topics, but mainly using the hardware called the brain and, uh, interpreting it with the software called the mind.

Ian Faria: Got it. So that's, uh, sum substance of what I do is mind coaching now.

Djagmo: Got it. I interesting. So, uh, one of the, uh, differences that stood out from you as training can be done to a group of people, right. And then, you know, it involves behavioral changes that you bring in, whereas teaching is imparting knowledge that you probably gained somewhere else.

Djagmo: And, uh, teachers cannot be trainers. I mean, it's not by default, right? Uh, some teachers can be trainers, but not all teachers can be trainers. You don't.

Ian Faria: Methodology is methodology. I'm information. I'm gonna test you. It's teaching. Got it. What have you changed? What have you done? How are you improving?

Ian Faria: That's behavior. That's, uh, activity. It's action based.

Djagmo: Got it. And then you say when it comes to, you know, uh, doing a one-on-one thing, uh, in fact you defined the whole, uh, coaching thing is doing something, you know, it's personal one-on-one. So you said you're a mind coach now. So all that you do is just one-on-one plan.

Djagmo: You don't do any more group things? No, I do

Ian Faria: the group things also. I do the group things also. Like for instance, I did, uh, six code two days this week. And I did another company called We Technologies Two Days Again, I got another two days this coming Friday, Saturday. So I interspersed both 20 and coaching.

Ian Faria: Got it, got it. So about 60, 70% of the issues can be covered in training. Right. Where you got a group and you do it right. And they all understand it, but the fine tune, like what Jug requires is different from what Jug requires.

Djagmo: Got it,

Ian Faria: got it. Fine tuned. The 20, 30% balance we give to them in coaching.

Djagmo: Got it.

Djagmo: So Ian, uh, my next question, right, is this gonna be on the slightly addressing the periphery of this coaching business? Right? Uh, why? Because, you know, some of the audience that we have, you know, who are like tuning in on listening are gonna be probably, they just finished a program or a course, you know, they're certified, they're all like energized to go and probably offer their first training session or a coaching session and just in the starting first month or first year of the journey.

Djagmo: And, uh, you're now in your 27th, uh, year, right? As you said, 27 years. That's a lot of experience. Uh, we'll definitely come to these parts of, you know, this journey, uh, as well. But then, you know, I'd like to, uh, go back to the first year of how you started off. You said obviously, uh, you didn't plan, but then, uh, you, you were, uh, exposed to a couple of, uh, leadership training.

Djagmo: Um, In the group that you were, uh, after your, uh, stint, uh, you know, after your 14 years of, uh, building journey as well. So, uh, when, when you underwent the leading, uh, you know, the leadership, uh, training, um, and then, you know, you were requested by some of, uh, your, uh, network to kind of offer training to their companies, uh, where did you even advertise yourself even for once?

Djagmo: Or how did that whole thing happen here? How did the whole first training happen for you? If you can like get into a little bit of, yeah.

Ian Faria: So I cover a very key point which most coaches and printers should understand, right? It all comes down to value proposition, right? So a lot of people who speak well, think they can train well.

Ian Faria: It's not the same thing, right? And it's not about downloading some PowerPoint presentation of the net and trying to deliver it. Right. That's totally fake. Okay. It's like I'm telling, I'm taking your story. I hear it once and I'm going to tell it as those, my story. It's, I, I would consider that fake. Right?

Ian Faria: And a lot of these, uh, companies like I c F and all that, they come to India and they call us into taking certifications at three A and four x each. Right? And they give you some so-called hours of training. They don't, uh, actually train you as a coach, but they make you do some coaching and you have to log in some hours and all, I think most of the American systems, and I'm gonna call it out, are fake.

Ian Faria: Okay? There's a lot of story and nonsense that is built around that. Right? Most of the coaches, you'll find they need serious coaching themselves. Okay? And I'm not saying this to disparage what good people are doing. Right, but just because you did a certification doesn't mean anything, right? I mean, if you can't change your own life, right?

Ian Faria: Who are you? Who are you? So this is where a lot of coaches fail. It's not about advertising. It's not about how many podcasts you have done. It's not about what nice, uh, you know, posts you have put up, right? Finally, authenticity comes from bringing results to your coachee, right? You're charging them good money.

Ian Faria: What are you doing for them? If they've not got their promotion, if they're not able to bring, bring in extra business, what are, what are you doing really great? You know? So just doing the number of hours and taking your fee is not what coaching is about. Coaching is about, yeah, actually giving success to your people, right?

Ian Faria: And the brain is very complex. Most coaches don't even know how the brain works, right? We don't even understand that there are three brains. The triune brain system is about the three brain. Are you operating from survival brain? That is brain? Are you operating from the emotional brain or the limbic system in between, or the, it's also called the social brain.

Ian Faria: Or are you operating from your best brain? Which is where we should be operating, which is the, uh, primate brain. Okay. And we should be aware of that. We should be aware of how the brain functions. Which brain are you switching to? When do you get scared? What does that do for your thinking process? Most coaches don't understand it.

Ian Faria: They don't even understand it. Okay. So I'm saying first a coach has to be aware of what the hardware is doing and how to impose that software on top of it. Mm-hmm. It's not a process. It's not, I ask you 20 questions and then I tell you what to do. Right. That's why I'm saying it's fake. Hmm, hmm, Hmm. I can't tell somebody you first, you cut the sternum and then you open the ribcage and then you take the heart and then you put this bypass.

Ian Faria: You don't understand what the water heart does. You don't understand what it means to reduce pressure. You don't understand whether you can cool the heart down so that it's beating comes down dramatically. Right. We just step one, do the step two, do the step three, do that. It doesn't work. Right. And each of us is unique.

Ian Faria: It's like a snowflake. No. Two of us are the same. Right. Even twin brothers or twin sisters are not the same identical twins. Right. They have different set of, uh, attributes and you know where they come from. Right. So, uh, you have to customize it to that level. Got it. It's like, uh, children at home eating the same food will have different, different, uh, opinions of it.

Ian Faria: Somebody wants extra salt, someone wants extra chili. Somebody has chilies outside and they eat it with it. Right? Is individual. Right? So coaching is like that. If, uh, if, uh, jug needs something, ju bond requires something he requires, his brother might not require it. In fact, his brother might dislike it.

Ian Faria: Right? It's okay. It's normal. We are all are different, right? Therefore, we cannot use a one size fits all in coaching, right? It has to be individualized. It has to be customized.

Djagmo: Ian, uh, you know, this brings me to another question. Okay. Now, let's say for example, right? Let's say, uh, somebody growing up were influenced by a coach, you know, that changed their life and then they decide that they also want to have a similar impact on somebody else's life, and they decide, you know, they wanna become a coach.

Djagmo: Now, in today's world, you see anything that you wanna become, it is about go get a certificate, go and roll yourself into so many years of training. That is a, it is, it works for some, as you said, you know, if you wanna become a heart surgeon, yes, it's a very definitive thing. You go, you do these hundred steps and do it.

Djagmo: But you, uh, you're saying that, you know, coaching is not like that. It's not a pro, it's not like, you know, you break it down into 20 steps and you don't become a coach. Yeah. So what should the, you know, what should be one's approach, you know, while growing up with a desire to become a coach, you know, what are some of the things that you'd suggest to them, Ian?

Ian Faria: See, I wanna start out with basics again. Right. Uh, a lot of people want to become counselors because they have problems. So they go and do a counseling course at Banjara or somewhere. Mm-hmm. And then they feel I'm a counselor and you come to me with your problems. Mm-hmm. I think most people don't even solve their own problem by going for a counseling program.

Ian Faria: Okay. Most people don't even know what they need to do in their own life. Forget about coaching other people in their lives. I feel the basic bottom line premises, how have you succeeded? Okay. If you don't know how to succeed on your own, how are you gonna teach me to succeed? Right now some of them give this impression that, see there are a lot of good cricket coaches who don't play cricket.

Djagmo: Those coach don't play or something like that. Yeah.

Ian Faria: So they use that analogy, huh? And they figure it out. But what, uh, Kochi and Cricket requires is just some techniques. Some they'll teach 'em how the bat is, is going, is it up and down? Is it straight line? Do we have like a hanging ball, which can keep fitting forward and back forward and back like such?

Ian Faria: Indeed. Right? So a lot of times in cricket, the cricketer, because of his interest and playing the game so much and being aware of it, just needs somebody to tell him, Hey boss, you're lifting your back to worry an outside perspective. Oh, keep it down until you decide you're moving front or you're moving back.

Ian Faria: Great. That is good for a coach who's non-player to be a good observer and tell you what he's doing. That's good enough. That's good enough. But here you're talking about somebody's career options. You're talking about somebody's, you know, life options. How can you give some generic thing like cricket coaching, right?

Ian Faria: Cricket coaching, the, the standard you make everybody play this way, make everybody ball that way. Some of them will come out good, some will not come out good, right? That's fine. It doesn't make a difference because you're still playing cricket, right? Whether you're a badman or a fielder or a, you know, a, a bowler who cares, right?

Ian Faria: You'll find some niche and you'll exploit it doesn't mean the coach is good, right? But helped you in your initial stages is she told you how to do your exercise, how to bring your fitness into play. All that is fine, right? Coaching or is a fine tune art form. I'm telling you still today, I'm still learning so many things about coaching, right?

Ian Faria: And I have about 650 books only on the brain and how it works, right? So I'm not here to fool around when I say I'm mind coach. I know the mind and how it works. Okay? I'm not having something I learned in a coaching program, right? So you have to have that lived experience. That's what I'm saying, jaman, right.

Ian Faria: You have to first create success for yourself, your family members, your, your friends. Got it. Otherwise, how can you charge somebody who doesn't know you for advice? Please tell me. Right? So just because I got help by a coach, because I got help by a heart surgeon, doesn't mean I can become a heart surgeon.

Ian Faria: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Because I got helped by a good, you know, a, a chef who made superfood at my, my, uh, last event doesn't mean I go and become a chef. Right? Yeah. What are you good at? You have to find your intrinsic value. You may be better off just, uh, you know, playing the uh, um, organ and singing some songs even though nobody sang well to you.

Ian Faria: Right. But you have a talent, you have an inbound talent. How are you bringing that to the table? Right? I thought my first talent was much in Navy, then I thought my next talent was as a builder, right? I did well, right? Each of these, I did well because I put the effort into doing well. Great. But I realized this is not in essence where am, right?

Ian Faria: I need something else. And I found this coaching, this training, all that came to me. It came chasing me. I didn't have to advertise, I didn't have to do anything right. Doors open for me. I found I was, I was happy doing it. I found people were happy, me delivering that way, I found they were getting results in their company.

Ian Faria: Right? Actually, I could charge more and more and more. And therefore the more demand that happened for my work, the hire, the, the fee judge.

Djagmo: Right? Got it. Ian? Um, okay. So let me, uh, you know, kind of ask you this question then I'm still, you know, trying to, uh, get those, um, definitive. Okay. If somebody, okay.

Djagmo: What would you say, you know, intrinsically, uh, you know, any number three or five, what are those qualities that can probably, if they see, or if somebody sees in somebody else that would kind of, you know, help them identify, okay, you know, this guy has some qualities to become a coach or a trainer, or something like that.

Djagmo: Can you,

Ian Faria: I, I can identify those for you. Yeah. So I'm looking at basic qualities for a, for a coach, right. Number one should be the intention to help other people. Right? Right. This is more or less a given, but not so, not so, because a lot of us are still waiting to take everything ourselves. Right. We're not interested in helping us.

Ian Faria: We want to help ourselves first. Right. We're still in survival mode. We're in the wrong brain. Right. Right. You can only help others when you're doing well yourself. You can't say, I'll help more people so I can get more money. The objective should not be to make money. Money should be a spinoff benefit.

Ian Faria: I'm calling the second requirement out. Right. You should be able to pay pay, I mean, to help people so much so that they want to pay you for, they want to pay you for it. Right. They want extended sessions of coaching. Right. They'll only pay you more when they're getting benefit from it. Right. I hope you're getting this point.

Ian Faria: Yeah. Yeah. So it's not just I'm doing something and I'm taking your money. Good. You won't come back to you. They won't refer anybody to you. Your whole coaching business will fall apart. Right. That's why there are so many certified coaches who don't have any work. Mm-hmm. We paid two, three legs, got some certificate, think they're part of some fraternity, and they think they'll get work.

Ian Faria: They don't get any work on a weekly basis. So many people approach me saying, can you gimme some work here? And I, we don't have any work and you know, I said, why the hell you went and wasted your time getting some certification? No, I thought, because they said you can make millions, you can make six figures, you can make seven figures.

Ian Faria: And we have got so some, uh, people online doing these programs saying, you can become a millionaire. Right. It's like AMK or something saying that, you know, you'll become a diamond, you'll become a emal. You know, you sell dreams, right? Actually only people making money are the people are playing because your money goes to them.

Ian Faria: Right. I think coaching is not like that. I think coaching is one-on-one. Coaching is serious stuff. Coaching is your playing with people's lives. Right. You can't afford to do it frivolously. I'm saying take it serious. It's a, it's a really required line. In today's world, the world is falling apart. We need more coaches, but we need more genuine coaches.

Ian Faria: Right. We only people who are thinking of this as if they, they couldn't do anything else or they, they'll do something. Right, right. So Jbo, I wanna call out something. They say those who can they do those who can't, they teach? Right? I think that applies to coaching more than teaching those who can do, right?

Ian Faria: Like, if you can do something, don't do it. Don't make become millionaire on what you do. Right. Why Coaching other people to become millionaires when you don't know how to become millionaire yourself. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So those who, can they do those who can't they teach? I'm saying those who can they do those who can't take coach?

Ian Faria: I don't want that. I'm saying that's not the genuine coach I'm looking for.

Djagmo: Okay. Right. You're saying those who can do other ones who needs to coach mainly. Yeah. Yeah.

Ian Faria: If you're successful, let's say you're a successful cricket guitar, definitely look at becoming a coaching cricket coach, right? Definitely.

Ian Faria: And we can coach you on how to become a coach, right? Because you know the stuff, you know the nuance of the game, you know how the wind shifts the ball in the air. You know how the pitch shifts the ball off the, the bounce. You know, what the condition of the ball is and how it'll work. It's not some stupid stuff.

Ian Faria: You know, you've done, you've played so many hours and hours of the game, you know how to coach and cricket. So a good cricketer can make a really good coach.

Djagmo: Got it. Ian? Ian, uh, you said, you know, uh, The world is broken and it, I mean, sorry, I might not be using the exact same words as you, but you're not trying to get as close as possible.

Djagmo: You say the world actually needs more coaches now. Yes. Whereas, you know, uh, it's also a cliche, uh, in the coaching industry that, you know, it's very saturated. There are a lot of, you know, everybody out there is trying to coach, but I think what you meant was you're not talking about all the certified coaches, but the real coaches, you know, who are actually, um, whatever, you know, you said.

Djagmo: So in that way, you, you

Ian Faria: are willing to listen, to read between the lines to analyze the situation. Right. And to see what will work for a might not work for B, you should know how to dis

Djagmo: dispute it. Right, right. And, and, and you know what, interestingly, you said, uh, people spend, uh, two to three lacks for getting a certificate on all those things.

Djagmo: Oh. Um, two to three lacks is nothing. People spend 25 lacks also.

Ian Faria: Um, no, I'm not even talking about the high end of spend. Okay, fine. But con game goes, goes on and on. It's a con game. Please listen to me. Right. Only the people who are propagating that become rich. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It's again, like all these multilevel marketing pair people.

Ian Faria: Mm-hmm. They become rich by conning you and giving, taking your money and saying, see how rich I became? Yeah. But you became rich by calling people. There are not, not so many people to be calling today. Got it.

Djagmo: Got it. I, uh, Ian, and then, you know, you, you, uh, spoke about successful people, people who've done something, you know, they are the people we need as coaches today because they can, you know, share some of the, uh, methods that they use or, you know, people can model after them or they know that now, uh, Ian, what about, you know, who tried to do something all their lives and you know, who fail?

Djagmo: They have something to

Ian Faria: offer to the. Now you put a very curious, uh, situation. If they have failed, I'm okay with it. Provided they learn the hack of how to come out of it. Right. But just to give you another example, I know one, uh, person who's, who's, uh, a counselor in an addiction center, right? And he says he was there for 14, 15 years, you know, trying this, uh, rehab, that rehab, this thing, that thing, that thing.

Ian Faria: And he couldn't get, I mean, nobody could figure it out, right? Until he discovered, you know, a religious figure. Let's not give it a name, right? And he said, when this religious figure came into my life, then I realized what I was missing. And that gap right now, his method of, uh, counseling is what he says.

Ian Faria: You accept my religious leader as your religious leader, you'll be saved. Just because if something worked for me and it brought me out of my quagmire, doesn't mean it'll work for you. You might be an atheist. You might be an agnostic. Why should I take your religious leader? But he says no unless you do your doomed.

Ian Faria: He's got a simple, such a small formula. It works for those who are looking for that gap to be filled by somebody or something. It works for them. So that, that is, um, that is what we call replacement therapy. We take one thing and we replace it with the other. So that is, that is the one. It may work for some people.

Ian Faria: It's not going to work for most people. I'm saying coaching is not like that because you failed and because you reached the bottom of the pit and you came up and you become successful doesn't mean your formula will work for the next guy. Right. Right. Doesn't mean that at all. But it shows you, it shows you how to empathize because you have gone through pain.

Ian Faria: You needed somebody to, you know, be there for you. You, somebody was there for you. You can be there for somebody else. That part we can be successful. Okay. Only that got it. It doesn't mean you follow my system. Exactly. Then only you'll get it. No, it doesn't mean that. Got it.

Djagmo: Got it. Okay, Ian. Uh, now, you know, uh, coming back to.

Djagmo: What you've spoken about, uh, really valuable coach, you know, uh, as someone you know, who's not really behind money, money is just an outcome, or is this a spinoff or is just an unintended consequence maybe. And, uh, don't look at it from a career point of view or, you know, I wanna become this, I wanna become rich by doing this.

Djagmo: So, um, and you know what, interestingly, a lot of people that I've spoken to, at least three to four people that I've spoken to who've been in this coaching industry also have come into it in a very accidental fashion. They haven't set out to become a coach. Like, you know what, I'm gonna become a coach.

Djagmo: And then no, that is not how it's been. And, uh, yours also seem, seems very much in, in, in those lines. Yeah. Yeah, he did. And, um, all of these, uh, coaches, except for one person, you know, who's a very young person, and, you know, he had a very different approach. The, for him, he was seeking something else in his life.

Djagmo: And then, you know, he accidentally, uh, came into coaching because somebody found value in what he offered. So, uh, um, Okay, now this is established. Now it makes, you know, to me it makes sense. It's, you know, rational. Now what would you like to tell people out there, you know, who've done this certification and you know, who've taken up?

Djagmo: Okay, you know what? Coaching is my career. What would you like to tell to them? You know?

Ian Faria: No, I would tell them, don't think about the money. Don't think I have to make so much income because I have to pay my house rent and this and that. Right? Think about how many people you can help in the next one week, right?

Ian Faria: Genuinely help. It doesn't matter if you don't make money, right? But the intent should be, I want to help people grow. So for instance, people ask me, what is your mission? I'm telling you very simple. Number one, to make really solid leaders for India, okay? After that, to make the world a better place. That's it.

Ian Faria: Okay. All of what I do on the planet comes down to these two things. Number one, make more leaders and super quality leaders for India, right? Number two, make the world a better place. But my number one mission first, I want more leaders for India. That's it, right? So whatever I do is with this intention.

Ian Faria: Now, how many coaches can call it out? So simple, right? Most of them will say, I want six figure salary. Seven figure salary. I mean, that's really looking at the wrong end of the spectrum, right? It's like a hard doctor saying, I want to charge more for my, uh, my operations because I want to make more money.

Ian Faria: I want to buy a bigger house, right? I want to own a hospital. Tomorrow you're looking at money as a driver. I'm telling you, a good heart surgeon cannot be chasing money. Unfortunately, some of our good doctors are like that, right? So are you today are misguided by people like politicians who make tons of money and in ill got gain, right?

Ian Faria: No. And they feel that's the, the methodology, and I'm really sorry to say that's not right. Yeah. Those are our leaders who we rely on, but they're taking us for a ride. Got it. So I'm saying coach should don't be like that. At least coaching, let's keep it to a level where it is. It's almost like you're doing divine work.

Djagmo: Right, right, right. So, Ian, um, okay. Let's say, you know, uh, as a coach, uh, at least you know, when you, when you've got that, uh, leeway to, um, find something else to make money, because money is also very important, we can't deny that. At the same time, you know, from what I've spoken to you so far, it's pretty clear to me that coaching is not something that, you know, you, you cannot have money as an outcome and start, it could be a little dangerous, it could be self-sabotaging as well for you, uh, in the long run.

Djagmo: And for the people you know who are probably taking your services for whatever reason. So let's say, you know, You, um, do something to pay your bills and everything. And then, you know, as a passion, you're doing coaching as, uh, something that is apart from your main job. And then eventually your goal is to become a coach.

Djagmo: Uh, you know how, but by, uh, by first helping people around you succeed or rather helping yourself succeed. I, when somebody starts off like this, how do you, you know, measure? First of all, there are two part, this is a two part question for me. Uh, I think choosing, especially when you're beginning or when you're starting off, I think it's very important for you to choose the right person.

Djagmo: Otherwise, it's a two way thing, right? Even you'll be, you have nothing to show if the other person is not interested just because you're offering it for free. And second thing is, how do you really, uh, follow up and measure? See what, okay, you know, weight loss you see before picture and after picture. How do you do that in this coaching thing?

Ian Faria: So number one, I think, let me first answer your first part of the question. Okay. You need some sort of benchmark. Thank do. So how do I know whether I'm a successful coach? Hmm. Few touchpoints for as, uh, for assessment. Number one, other people you're coaching, doing better in what they came to you for. Now, some people might say, I, I'm very bad at relationships and I've been breaking relationships a long time.

Ian Faria: I need a relationship coach, right? So his thing is I want better relationships. And probably one or two, like wife and mother or something like, or wife, father, right? You know, if he would have that quantified, the easy way to check that out is like a customer satisfaction rating, right? Get the wife to evaluate the guy, get the mother or the father to evaluate the guy, whoever he needed better relationship with.

Ian Faria: Okay? Very simple. Okay? Very simple. But if somebody says, you know, I want to double my turnover of my business, right? You need a business coach. So I do some of that work and I can guarantee people can double the turnover in one year or two years maximum. Okay? Now there is a very simple result to measure, right?

Ian Faria: Is your turnover doubled? If not, what are you doing? Right? So even in coaching now, I have a gentleman from Kerala who came to see me on Sunday, and he says here, my simple-minded focus is I want to earn more money. If I can earn double my income, I'll be very happy. The coaching is successful. Now, for that, it's very simple to measure.

Ian Faria: I have to give him techniques and tools on how to get a better job, how to earn more money, or how to have crucial conversations with his super boss, and how to make sure that his career path grows, right? Simple enough. So like that you have measurement schemes depending on what somebody requires. Right?

Ian Faria: Now somebody says, I want to win an Olympic gold medal. No, coach can guarantee that, right? They can guarantee that you can up your timing. They can guarantee that you can be, uh, the best version of you. Do you have the stuff to make it to Olympic gold medal? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe, maybe not. But can you say at least, let me go from tauk level to division level to state level to national level.

Ian Faria: I want to go at least state level, right? That can be made, right? That's a easier, easier give. Yeah. As a result. Yeah. So what is successful? What is not successful? I might come to you to double my income, but I might say better than that. I got to make better relationship with my boss or with my wife, or, and you might say, I didn't come for this, but I got it.

Ian Faria: Right. So I'm happy. Right? So sometimes we get a spinoff benefit that is more important than the original benefit that you thought of, right.

Djagmo: Got it in. So, uh, this is, uh, this is your response to, you know, how do you measure before and after. Um,

Ian Faria: very simple that that's it. That is how it's you, you set the standard and the parameters upfront, right? And say, okay, if I have better relationships, I will talk to the people I want better relationships with.

Ian Faria: And you can get a simple rating, right? If money is the issue, we can, we can measure money

Djagmo: easiest. Right? Got it. Yeah. Now, uh, when it comes to coaches choosing their clients, right? I mean, uh, probably, uh, coaches who are starting off, you know, who are doing it for, uh, free just to establish themselves first, see if they're, you know, really doing what, uh, they're setting out to do.

Djagmo: Um, is there a thing as choosing your clients or you just take anybody and you know, who approach you?

Ian Faria: See, I would say be very honest with your coachee. Be very honest. Right? Say that. See, I haven't yet achieved any big success. Mm-hmm. But, uh, you know, I'd be willing to help you for free, or I'll charge you a nominal amount.

Ian Faria: Mm-hmm. And, uh, we'll work it together. You know, you help me grow, I help you. Great. Just to nice, to be honest. Don't act like you're the big boss and you know everything you said. This is my suggestion for you. In fact, most coaching systems tell you, do not tell the coach you what to do. Okay? Okay. You just ask questions like, for instance, is this your best option?

Ian Faria: You don't have any other option. So you ask questions, make them think they make the choice. So a lot of coaching systems stay in the clear. They indemnify themselves, especially the American based system. They say, I didn't tell you what to do. I just asked you questions. And so a lot of people go under the coaching banner of the coaching is not, uh, Tell you what to do, type of, uh, interaction.

Ian Faria: I'm a mirror for you. If you wanna see whether your hair is in place, you look at a mirror or I'm a sounding board, I say something to you and I get a reflection back. Right. That's all right. So a coach, a good coach actually speaking, should not tell people what to do. But you should see whether they've explored all the options and they're using the best one.

Ian Faria: Otherwise, a good coach will nudge them towards what the coach thinks is the best one. Mm-hmm. But are you competent to do that? Mm-hmm. Great. So for instance, a lot of people who, uh, when gone through a bad marriage will tell you very simple. Don't waste time in marriage. If it's not working, throw it out.

Ian Faria: Right. Because they did that. They did that. Yeah. So they don't know any other, you know, pattern. They don't know any other model. Right. I'm saying that's not what a coach should be doing. Coach should be saying, see, I threw my marriage out for me. It worked. Right. Is that an option for you or do you want to give it one more shot?

Ian Faria: Hmm. And we start to work this from scratch. Let's say what a good coach should do.

Djagmo: Got it. Got it. Ian, so Ian, now let's say, you know, uh, a coach who's setting out, you know, who wants to become a coach, who's young, who's doing the work, uh, you know, the job to pay his bills, and then, you know, he's doing a bunch of coaching like this for his friends and family.

Djagmo: Um, you're saying from there it is a matter of reference. Yes. For

Ian Faria: this coach, for me, for me, that's what worked. Again, I'm calling it out. Right. For me, that's what worked for you. If you're able to put out a post every day, lot of coaches today are doing that. They'll take somebody else's information or they'll get some ghost writer to write for them and they'll put a blog post every intelligent right.

Ian Faria: As soon as you talk to them in one minute, you know that they don't have the stuff because they're faking the, the front end. Right. They got some ghost writer to write for them. It's like people writing books. Right. I remember Jack Canfield, the first time I met him. I'm thinking, this is the guy who wrote the books really seriously.

Ian Faria: And then I find, uh, the p people actually wrote the books for him. Okay, interesting. Yeah. And then they said that, you know, he, he plagiarized all our work. He put his name on it. Mm. And I can then make the connection and say, wow. Mm. Wow. So there's a lot of things that we don't know. I'm saying, please check out everything.

Ian Faria: Right. Check for authenticity. Ask your coach for reference. If you got a good track record, you should be able to give 10 good references.

Djagmo: Right, right. Right.

Ian Faria: Initially you'll have a problem because initially you don't have a success track record, right? So then you want to do free work and say, if you don't mind, if you got some benefit, please to your friends, right?

Ian Faria: Then you charge the friend nominal, right? That's how you build your value up. The value proposition is built up steadily, slowly, not based on certification.

Djagmo: Got it. Ian? So yours is a hundred percent referral based. That's how you get all your people

Ian Faria: that, uh, yeah, I mean, I don't need to do anything else.

Djagmo: Okay, great. Okay, fine. Um, but, you know, uh, tell me something, uh, when it comes to even referrals, okay. Uh, let's say somebody who you coached is telling you, Hey, Ian, you know what there is, there is this company that needs your services. Does it happen like that? Or do these people go tell that company, Hey, you know what, here's a guy who coached me.

Djagmo: You know, just reach out to him. There's a subtle difference between these two things, right? Uh, what is it for you? Is it both?

Ian Faria: Yeah. For me it is. Uh, somebody refers a company to me, and interestingly, and Jacque, I've got quite a few referrals for people who never came to me. Mm-hmm. Who never even experienced what I came to.

Ian Faria: Ok. But they seen their sister-in-law, or their cousin or somebody changed dramatically, and they said, how the hell this happened? And I went to, for, I did this coaching program with him, and he says, you changed so much. I know you from before. How is it possible? Those people sometimes give you a reference and say, I see.

Ian Faria: I don't know. I've not gone to,

Djagmo: ah, interesting. Okay.

Ian Faria: I heard it. Very good. So then somebody will call you and say, I, I got a reference. And I say, who's this person? I don't even know the person. Then I'm not able to establish a connection because that person never came to me late, late. So this is another way it happens, but it can happen other ways.

Ian Faria: I mean, I can be directly referenced, right? To say, I'm referring your name to my company and I want, uh, your coaching in the company, right? Yeah. It can come that, or it can come through looking for a good coach. I've been to. He's very good. Take it. Or the third way, which I said I haven't been to him, but my cousin, my, my sister-in-law went to him and she was lastly benefited.

Ian Faria: Why don't you try? Got it.

Djagmo: Got it. And uh, what about the first one that I said, you know, people telling you, Hey, you know what, this company's got a need. Uh, why don't you approach, there's the reason I'm asking you this.

Ian Faria: I get that, but I I don't, I don't chase those leads.


Djagmo: don't,

Ian Faria: right. I don't chase those leads.

Ian Faria: I find that if you need you, you call me now. But see, I'm in an advantages position. I can afford to do that. Yeah. I don't advise this for Yeah, I don't advise. I'm saying if somebody gives you a lead, follow it up. Like your life depend.

Djagmo: Right. No, this is the, this is the point I was trying to get to because you seem to be in a very, you know, you, you are like pretty much an outlier, right?

Djagmo: Yeah.

Ian Faria: For comfort. Yeah. You're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I also live on level road. People say you can walk everywhere. I said, yeah, I'm spoiled for comfort. Seriously. Right. But, uh, see, sometimes it takes time to reach lead. Yeah. So I don't advise winning coaches to not follow a lead. Even half a lead is a lead boss jump at it.

Djagmo: Right. Right. And, uh, so Ian, uh, that's the thing. So the, a coach, a coach, you know, who thinks, you know, who's also. Seen Transformationist clients and everything. A coach also has to wear different hats. The most basic one, I think is a, uh, is that of a salesperson, right? And, um, sales can be very cool sometimes, you know, when you are the salesperson, when you're selling for others, it's a different thing.

Djagmo: But when you're doing it for yourself as a double-edged sword, you know, um, you get shit with the reality yourself. And then, you know, you not only have to come back from that sales call, you also have to, like, you'll have self doubts about your own profession. What am I even in the right profession and stuff like that.

Djagmo: So now, you know, uh, just scratching a little bit of your coaching stuff, you know, what, what would some of the basic tools that you'd offer to these people, you know, a little bit of a mindset tweak, because I was like going through your, uh, LinkedIn post and then I, uh, came across this very interesting thing you said, you know, see, world is what world is.

Djagmo: We all see it because of who we are and you know, we see it because we are like, that world is what it's, sometimes we make it to be something else.

Ian Faria: So it's called perception equals reality. Yeah,

Djagmo: yeah, yeah. Perception equals reality, right? So, yeah. Uh, the reason I'm bringing that to this, uh, sales thing, right, because, uh, I've also been a sales guy in the past and, um, uh, the other person on the call might be rejecting or, you know, telling whatever he says for some other reason it'll be his problem.

Djagmo: But we as salesperson, we also have to perceive and then, you know, strike a balance between perception, reality. So if you can, you know, uh, talk a little bit about,

Ian Faria: so I think the first thing is this. Are you genuinely comfortable with who you are and what you can do? In which case you'll come across as authentic, right?

Ian Faria: But I hear a lot of coaches saying, you try a few sessions and see how it works for you. You dunno. 10 sessions. You do at least five. No, I'm saying why you that hard as sell? You can't chase people. They say if you want a butterfly, you know to catch a butterfly. Don't go out to the net and look for butterflies.

Ian Faria: They say, put some pollen reins in your hand and just sit down. Rightly. Right, right. FL will come to you. Right. Well, I think coaching is like this. I think I would prefer coaching like this. It's not that I'm saying it has to be only this way. Right. So I would say give value to your clients. Make sure they're satisfied.

Ian Faria: If they're satisfied, they'll give you some sort of recommendation. I would suggest that most people feel shy to ask for a recommendation. Okay. I'm gonna just do it. Great. So if I do a good program, people say, fantastic. Sir, I never seen a program like this that I said, if you're really satisfied, no. Do me a favor, go give me a recommendation on LinkedIn Call.

Ian Faria: If you feel comfortable, if you don't want, don't, don't worry about it. I can afford to say that, but there's no harm in being humble as a new coach and say, please, if you can gimme a referral, I, it'll be really nice. Yeah. I'll much appreciate it. I need all the help I can get. I'm just starting out my career.

Ian Faria: I think, uh, new coaches should be humble enough to say that, right? I feel So the other tip I want to give is don't sell. Right?

Djagmo: Tell. Mm Right.

Ian Faria: Don't sell, tell, you know, so if you look at a lot of my LinkedIn posts, I just refer to coaching or training in passing. Great. But the first thing I'm doing is I'm giving value to the client.

Ian Faria: I don't care whether they come to me, they don't come to me. It doesn't bother me. Great. As long as I'm doing my work and helping the world become a better place, I'm very happy with that. Great. It's not about financial again, but I'm in an advantages person. I can afford not to think about too much about it.

Ian Faria: Right. But I do refer it here and there, and I say one of my reaching co recent coaching sessions, I had this, you know, curious incident. Right. I'm telling I'm not selling. Right, right, right, right, right. Some of the extra smart salespeople reading that will say, oh, this is selling. See, is certainly selling his, uh, product.

Ian Faria: No, I'm not interested, boss. I'm calling it out. I'm not interested. You don't want to take the value from it and go, you get it for free. Right. So I'm giving out free samples. You want to take a ticket? If you want more than you come back, then we'll charge you. Got it. So it, it's a, it's, um, it's a, it's a technique.

Ian Faria: Don't sell. But you should tell, you should, your families should know what you're doing here. Right. A lot of time reference come from family and friends and by the way mm-hmm. Someone say, you just go to I, you talk to him for 10 minutes, see how it happens. Well, your life will change. Some people have said, you talk to Ian for two minutes.

Ian Faria: Also, if you can get time with him now your life will change. Right. So you build a reputation like that.

Djagmo: Ian, um, has there, has there been a situation, you know, or has there been an instance, uh, where you've collaborated with other coaches? Um, I don't know how, I'm just trying to, you know, see if that's happened and then, you know, if there is something, I'll probably ask you more questions

Ian Faria: actually. Uh, since coaching is such an individualized thing, I haven't really found a need for collaborating in coaching.

Ian Faria: Okay. But having said that, I get a lot of referrals from lawyers. Hmm. Oh, somebody has gone to them for a divorce matter and they could easily do more business by saying, we'll file a case. We'll take them to the cleaners. I'll get you one crew. I'll get you five crows. But the good lawyers are ethical people.

Ian Faria: They will say, do me one small favor. Have you got a good counselor who has tried to help you? Right. No. Do one thing. I have a good counselor, somebody who I know, he does coaching, he does counseling. And why don't we just go and visit him? Right? If after that you feel, no, no, no, there's no point, then we will file the case.

Ian Faria: Right? So or not, I can get referrals from lawyers, right? Who say somebody needs help. And sometimes it's a perception gap, right? I think my mother-in-law is very nasty. I think she's like this. I think she like, that's why I don't want the marriage. So sometimes we have to coach them on how to change their perception.

Ian Faria: Right. How to be a little bit more fair. Right. Little more humble. Right.

Djagmo: Interesting. So to uh, to uh, all the listeners out there who are coaches and who've been wondering, you know, where all you can generate your leads from. Here was one, uh, you know, lawyers,

Ian Faria: but also business like for instance, the Jane community, the Maori community. No, they gimme lot of reference because somebody business doubled, somebody tripled, you know. Ah, right.

Ian Faria: Sometimes some of the communities work well together, they help each other. Those communities refer somebody else. You know, there are a lot of communities who don't help you. They try to, you know, keep you

Djagmo: secret.

Ian Faria: They keep it secret. And not only that, they swear you to secrecy saying, boss, don't use my name anywhere. Ah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please don't tell anybody that I came to you because it lowers their brand value in some

Djagmo: way. Oh, okay. And you're fine with that. Yeah. Sometimes you're just okay. You can't use them as your, as your testimonial.

Ian Faria: No. Like, like a counselor. You, you can't go and tell everybody this is that one's problem. This is what problem. Similarly in coaching, coaching is a confidential business.

Djagmo: Right. And, uh, when you say, you know, um, okay, you did, um, uh, you know, yesterday when we had a little chat, you said, you know, everything, there are two kinds of people, right?

Djagmo: Uh, one is the systems and processes and. Person is just about the mind. And, um, being a mind coach, I think you have no, uh, demarcations, right? It doesn't matter to you whether you've come for relationship problems or a business problem, even when it comes to business problem. It's not that you are, uh, you are an mba or you have some business acumen or stuff like that.

Djagmo: You're still working on their, you know, at their mind level. Even with the business people.

Ian Faria: Yes, I'm still working on their mind level, but you must understand I also did building for 14 years, right? So I know how to do business, I know how to do sales, right? So when I'm selling something, I'm authentic on the sale, right?

Ian Faria: I also run my own work as a business. I also had other coaches working for me. Mm-hmm. So, but because of the pandemic, I said, let me just go this alone because everybody's asking for me at that stage, and they don't mind paying higher, you know, amounts. So I was charging double of what my other colleagues would charge.

Ian Faria: Okay. But companies still wanted me, so then I was feeling really bad because I'm saying it looks like I'm getting all the business. Mm. So then I said, you know, I think better you guys, you know, look for other things and you know, we can call it today and we can see sometime in future maybe you can collaborate again.

Ian Faria: Interesting. So that's another kind of a problem to have. And I feel, you know, there's no one formula that fits all. Right. One, it's uh, each person has to figure out his own path and his own roadmap. Right. For me, my style of climbing might, uh, uh, ask me to go for the north face of the climb of the mountain.

Ian Faria: Somebody else might say, it doesn't matter. I don't have time is not a challenge, but I want to do it safe. Then you go south face. Okay. There's lots of ways to reach the top of the mountain, is what I'm saying. Got it. If you don't have time, then you look for some climbing system, which gets you to the top, even with a little more risk, but it, it's quicker.

Ian Faria: So like that coaching also, you have to figure it out. Somebody says, you know what? I'm getting married in two months. I don't have any time. I need to get to that level where, you know, I, I don't want any problems with in-laws. I don't want any problems with perception and I want to present my best self.

Ian Faria: So I get those kind of, uh, you know, people coming to me also. Got it.

Djagmo: Ian, um, you know, you said lawyers can sometimes give you like good references and you also said, you know, some business people who you've coached, there are communities that help each other. So they refer, refer. Uh, what about, uh, you know, doctors, especially in the psych division, do reference also come from there?

Ian Faria: Yes. So I, I have a very curious case of a young kid who's been thrown out of school. Okay. The school has already decided to give him a T. Okay. A very dis destructive kid in class. Okay. I'm very destructive also. Okay. You know, so class can't go on. If he's sitting in the class right now, they're refer to me saying that this very quick kid.

Ian Faria: Very nice kid, but I don't know what happens to him. So he's got a ADHD problem, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. So I worked with him, believe it or not, in two months time. The guy is a model student. Got it. Model. So everybody wants to know, Ian, what happened here? How did you manage to get this kind of change?

Ian Faria: Combination of things. Once I have very good connection with psychiatrists. Hmm. But I refer only to two or three psychiatrists who I know are not there to make money, but who are there to help. Right. So they won't tell you, oh, I'm a psychiatrist. You have to use my medicines for life. They will do what has to be done in the cataract.

Ian Faria: Right? So those pe, those psychiatrists are referred. So I refer cases to doctors, oh, you referred, okay, fine. When I need. Yes. Yes. So sometime your, uh, your mind is like that. You need the meds temporarily, right? Till the mind can rewire itself. Right? You need that temporary help. So if you need a pain killer, you're playing a match and you got a cramp, you need a muscle relaxant, use it here.

Ian Faria: Yeah. Don't say, no, no, I have to fight this in my mind. No, no. Take the muscle relaxant, play the game. Win the game. After that, we'll use the muscle, right? So you have to know when to do what, when to switch systems, when to use meds. So since I cannot prescribe medication, because I'm not a a doctor, I refer a doctor who can prescribe the medication and I tell them what I want.

Ian Faria: I said, I, I need a mood, mood stabilizer. Mm-hmm. Because they're getting into these anger issues every now and then. Interesting. Or they're, uh, bipolar, they suddenly go into panic and rage. Yeah. There we take meds to

Djagmo: stabilize. Got it. Was that, uh, one of the things with this kid you had to, you, you thought the kid needs some

Ian Faria: Yes.

Ian Faria: I needed some medical help. Yes, I needed a little bit of a mood stabilizer. Ah, right.

Djagmo: Yeah. Got it. Ian. So, uh, Ian, uh, given that, you know, there could be a lot of teachers or trainers, not trainers, after you said what trainers are, I'm not gonna, you know, take trainers into this. Teachers. Okay. Especially teachers who might be listening to this and, you know, were probably aspiring to start a business or something, teaching business or something right now.

Djagmo: Uh, teachers are the ones who come across these situations a lot. I mean, I know that you've told, um, I accept that you've told that, you know, it's a very, um, one-on-one. Case, and you know, it cannot be generalized, but still, if you have to, you know, uh, not for very notorious kids, but, you know, what would you suggest to teachers who are listening how to, on a, on a high level, how to kind of get kids attention, you know, at least some basic level of discipline or what are the things that we need to look at kids and, you know, what are some of the tips or tricks that might help teachers which might be overlooked?

Djagmo: Ok.

Ian Faria: I feel the one thing that teachers should understand today, you're competing with the, the MTV generation for attention. They're used to, they'll sit on and watch a program for one hour. Why can't they listen to your class for one hour? Right. So that program knows how to keep them engaged, right? Most teachers do not know how to keep a child engaged, and therefore kids get distracted in two, three weeks.

Ian Faria: Mm. Engagement. So the same kids you gimme in a classroom, I'll make them sit for one hour, two hours, three hours, without going to the loop, right? And the most distracted set is the college kids. Right. Now, how do I keep college kids in a class with the doors open and say, anytime you want to go, you go. You wanna go for a smoke?

Ian Faria: You go, you wanna juice a coffee? You go, don't have to ask their permission, nobody leaves because I know how to keep their attention. Right. So teachers should know how to keep attention. Mm-hmm. When you keep people's attention, they're not going to get distracted with what's outside the class. Right. They want more of what's inside.

Ian Faria: Right. That's one. Second thing is, I don't know whether a lot of teachers understand likability is your number one factor as a teacher likability. Mm-hmm. And that's the second brain. If the teach, if the student is scared of you, hello. Sit down. Sit. Right. You know, you're putting the kid into reptile mode, keeping into fight flight.

Ian Faria: Right. Those kids don't want to come to your class. Right. They'll get sick on your class days. Right. So who are the teachers who made you want to come to class? Even when a kid is not Well, those are the good teachers. You don't want to miss the teacher's class, right? I'm saying first get yourself embedded.

Ian Faria: It's called positioning. Teachers should get themselves embedded into the child's psyche. Into the child's mind, and the students should want to come to class saying, my teacher is going to be there today. Right? Those are the best teachers. Then you don't have to worry about content, methodology, pedagogy, nothing.

Ian Faria: Nothing required. They like you. They're ready from you. They'll learn from you. That's it. Because they want to impress you. This can also

Djagmo: happen online for teachers who are doing online classes. Yes. Or

Ian Faria: anything. Any

Djagmo: session. Great. Okay. Yes. And, um, does this, is it like literally, you know, asking the teacher to put out a performance?

Djagmo: Does the teacher have to turn out, turn into a performer? No.

Ian Faria: No, not at all required. But see, it does help to use humor when you can make the whole class laugh together. You've broken all the barriers between the kids. Right? Right. Yeah. So I want that also to be called out. Humor is a very big tool that, uh, teachers very rarely use.

Ian Faria: Right. Because they think, how can I make kids laugh? You should. You should. It's because kids, when they laugh, they forget about their house problems or anything else. Right? And they're in the moment, moment. So when the kids laugh together, they're one class. Right? That's one thing. The other thing is if you are subject matter is good enough and you have your own way of presenting it, why do you want to become like some other teacher?

Ian Faria: Right? Why do you want to put a performance? Right? There are some teachers who are stoic, who are quiet in a quiet way. They'll get you back. Mm. Right. There are some, like you are flamboyant who are know how to get everyone to listen. Right? But there are times when I do a deep story there times when I can make my listeners cry, right.

Ian Faria: Because I get them to remove, right? I know how to, to use their emotions, right. To keep them engaged, right? So it's a lot about this. So teaching, training, coaching is all about understanding the mind out functions, how to keep attention, how to give value. Just attention on its own is no use, right? Because a lot of people can entertain you, but then you come out and you say, what did he say?

Ian Faria: Exactly right.

Djagmo: Ian? Um, I think, uh, as far as the questions are concerned, you know, trying to, uh, understand how you go about things, I think I've got, uh, all my questions covered, all the bases covered, you know, the aspects that I was looking to. Talk to you about. And, um, I'd like to, you know, uh, conclude, uh, mostly by saying the things that I, you know, I, what stands out to me, especially when you have to talk about coaches who might be listening right now.

Djagmo: Look, the basic foundation of your coaching career or your coaching journey is the value proposition, right? Like the example you used for the butterfly. Don't go with a mesh and, you know, try and catch all the butterflies, rather put some pollen and sit down and wait for the butterfly to come. Um, so, you know, you make sure your value is.

Djagmo: Proper. You know, you're giving out the best value and the things will happen. But at the same time, if you're a new coach who are looking to build, uh, you also need to have a little bit of discipline follow up. You know, uh, communicate out there that you're really looking for this gig. You know, you don't have to sit.

Djagmo: That's a luxury probably that Ian, uh, enjoys need not be the case for everybody. Maybe the case once you cross a decade or something like that. Uh, so this is what

Ian Faria: I also, I wanna add one point. Uh, sure. Just wanna add quick point. One of my very good friends who became a, became a good trainer. You know, I used to marvel at the way he would almost big for work.

Ian Faria: Oh, you know what? I'm having a tough time in life. You can just help me. If you can just refer me to hr, you can, you know, he'll come, he'll touch your feet, he'll kiss you, you know what? But he would make sure he got work from you. Great. I used to think, uh, where is humility in all this area? I mean, where is a, you know, matter of pride?

Ian Faria: Where is the, the slider now for, in his case, when it's getting workload, is full 1000% on humility. Mm-hmm. Please, you don't mean, because, you know, it can be a great help to me and my family. Right? You'll go to the, I, I didn't, uh, quite like that. In fact, I used to say, don't sell, please don't sell and don't beg more than important.

Ian Faria: Don't beg. Okay. But if you can do a minor form of saying, say, if you can help me, it'll be really nice. You know, I really appreciate it because, you know, as a new coach, I, I have to build my track records, so, right. If you can help me, I don't mind doing it for free. I don't mind doing it at a nominal price.

Ian Faria: Right. Ler in his, one of his books says, I did more than 1000 talks free before he got his first payment. So when like Zig Zeigler can do that, who are we, I mean, in that

Djagmo: sense. Got it. Ian, Ian, uh, a quick question that just, you know, occurred to me after you told about, uh, the thousand talks, right? I've always been curious about these, uh, keynote speakers, right?

Djagmo: Um, the, some of the events, you know, they hire, uh, keynote speakers, um, see as a consumer, right, as a person who's been on the other end of receiving the speech, uh, what I've experienced is, um, sometimes, not always, sometimes it's boring, sometimes it's really inspirational. Sometimes it kind of, you know, boosts you up and stuff like that.

Djagmo: They just share their story or something. But, uh, as an event organizer, what is, what do they expect the keynote speaker to really, uh, you know, do and, um, is it just, uh, showmanship or is there something of value of, you know, something of deeper significance to that?

Ian Faria: Okay. I'm looking at it from an organizer's point of view or from a company point of view.

Ian Faria: Okay. They want some celebrities on stage. They want to create that wow factor. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Now, if you call some of the bigger speakers, like, you know, let's say film stars, let's talk 20 likes, 25 likes is the minimum they charge. Wow. Okay. Yeah. So just to come there and do some small speech and entertain you a little bit, okay.

Ian Faria: There might give some value. Some of them are good. Like, uh, Priyanka Chopra, we'll give you some good value. She talks mm-hmm. Because she speak will give you some, uh, nice, uh, tidbits because you know, he's lived that experience. He's gone through a tough life, right? So this case can afford to talk and plus they're good woman on top of that, right?

Ian Faria: Right, right. Yeah. But you get some people who are, uh, highly sort of, uh, positioned and you come there and the hell out of you. Right. So I have paid lot of money for going and attending seminars, and then in 10 minutes I realize, boss, I better save my time. Doesn't matter if I lost my money and I'll walk out.

Ian Faria: Yeah. So you get that Also, even though a big name, somebody's written two books, three books, but they can't talk. Right. I can quote enough speakers like that. I feel from an organizer's perspective, they want a big name to draw, draw people to the right, right. Yeah. Uh, from, uh, like a business leader's perspective, a lot of people want value.

Ian Faria: They want their people to change. They want people to take life more serious. They want to deliver bigger results. Then they'll call somebody like me who can do both. I can be the showman on stage. Mm. Plus I can give deep value, right? Because I know what they're looking for. Right. So I can hit both the benchmarks in one, one speech.

Ian Faria: Got it. So you have to determine where you want to go. And like I said, see, all coaches have to understand one thing. You can't faff and you can't take something from Simon Sinek or you know, Marshall Goldsmith and use it because they used it. Right. If you don't understand the lived experience of that, you're really fake.

Ian Faria: Right? And you might be able to do a good show, but you're not going to deliver any value. Right? Great. So I, I want that to be called out. And if you feel, uh, you can do both, you can do showmanship and you can deliver value, then you're a good person. But please read, right? Most coaches don't read, right?

Ian Faria: They, they copy paste. Mm-hmm. And I think that's the worst kind of coach, and I'm sorry, I'm calling it out. Okay? There's no authenticity. You just copy paste, copy, paste. It doesn't make, I mean, you are, you're coding something, but you don't know what it means, right?

Djagmo: Go, I, Ian, uh, you, you know, you, uh, mentioned lived experience, right?

Djagmo: See, lived experience is, you know, one's life, right? I mean, they, it, it happens in a very organic level. And, uh, that kind of, you know, trigger a very, uh, curious, uh, situation. Like, there have been times that, you know, I've heard of people go in search of experiences. Is it wise, uh, you know, is it wise for people or for coaches?

Djagmo: You know, let's say somebody's listening to you and they're taking this lived experience very seriously, and let's say they go in search of experiences. Is that a good thing to do? What would you do?

Djagmo: I'm gonna

Ian Faria: answer that with the counter question. I'm saying, doesn't life give us enough problems without looking for them?

Djagmo: Most of them, I think it does.

Ian Faria: You look at your own life day to day. You've got 10 problems that come up in today itself. Why should I go and live on the mountain and live like an aesthetic and all that, right?

Ian Faria: Not required. So I believe if you need silence, if you need to understand your thoughts, a lot of people go into the wild and they go, yeah, a long distance bike riding. Yeah. So in the quiet time and they're on their bike and it's only them and the machine and the road. Then you can think, right? But what are you running away from?

Ian Faria: Life is lived in the city. If you are in the city, right, you're not going to live life on a bike. So what's the point of taking that bike ride and every two weeks take a bike ride. What are you doing? You're just running away from reality. You're just creating an altered reality for yourself. Just like I don't go for that kinda experience.

Ian Faria: If you take a truck and say, all my problems go away. No, they don't go away. You don't see them for the moment, right? You're using a fix. And those fix will only last for a small amount of time and your body system will get used to the fix and need more next time. Got it. So I think go for authenticity, start to look at things differently.

Ian Faria: I think a lot of coaches need another coach to help them through their coaching experience. I was gonna ask

Djagmo: you that. Do coaches need coaches themselves?

Ian Faria: Coaches need coaches. Even somebody who's supposedly one of the highest paid coaches and trainers in the world, Tony Robinson Robbins, he will himself, readily admit, he has his own coaches, coaches, not coach.

Ian Faria: So a good, smart coach, and I saw this from a brain, uh, from a heart surgeon who said, I got a coach to come and come into the operating theater with me. And he told me five, six things I was doing wrong as a surgeon, even though he is not a surgeon. Wow. Okay. He said, here's a lay man coming into my operating theater and giving me correction.

Ian Faria: And that's one of the things I posted to say, even a heart surgeon can go to a coach who can tell him other things, which he might not have, uh, considered. Right. Or might not have thought of, or might not have focused on. Right. Right. So for coaching, I think you need, initially you'll need a lot of experience.

Ian Faria: And a good, a good experience is given by somebody else's experience also. Right. So I think it, a good coach needs a good

Djagmo: coach. Got it. Ian, Ian, uh, you know, just, uh, just to make it more interesting or, you know, probably whatever it, uh, comes across to people who are listening. Can you share one of the most challenging, um, client, not client, client situation that you had to handle?

Djagmo: You know, and how, how did you, uh, anything that you wanna share about, it'll be nice to know.

Ian Faria: I think if you look at it, uh, from a, from a coaching perspective, I had this very interesting case where a marriage was falling apart. Okay. And both were blaming the other. Okay. Saying wife, old wife saying husbands fault.

Ian Faria: Both families are involved. They're already gone to court. Okay. And tell you though, they thought they required counseling. Mm-hmm. What they required was actually coaching. Coaching in how to talk, how to listen, how to sit and analyze a problem, how to define the problem. Okay. 50% of solution in, uh, solution that a person is looking for is in defining the problem in the first place.

Ian Faria: Right? Right. Just give a small example. Somebody comes to me and said, yeah, I need a vocabulary building program. And I said, why? And he said, I said, your English is so good there, you don't need any vocabulary building. He said, no, no, no. Ian, you don't understand when I go on stage. No. I forget the words. Mm.

Ian Faria: Okay. I got what you need. Actually. You don't need vocabulary building. You need confidence building. Right? But when you're on stage and you are cool and calm, the words will come to you automatically. Right? But if you're in the wrong brain and you're going to fight flight mode, lemme tell you, your words will not come.

Ian Faria: Right? You don't need vocabulary building. You have the words, right? You need to calm your mind down so that you can pull the right word out of your subconscious mind. That's it. Right? And they find it difficult on answer. So identifying the problem is the first thing. Great. Yeah. So otherwise you're solving for a wrong problem and therefore you'll never get a resolution.

Djagmo: Okay. So you say that this marriage couple, you know the couple who came for the Yeah.

Ian Faria: Yeah. Coaching. Coaching sometime is the best way forward. Not what is the difference, counsel,

Djagmo: sorry. I'm

Ian Faria: okay. No, I'm glad you brought that up because I should brought it up. Counseling is to take you out of your pain.

Ian Faria: Okay. Coaching is to get you to the next level. Ah, okay. Okay. So counseling I can do for you in 10 minutes and sort your problem out. I solve suicide issues in 10 minutes, 15 minutes, but you want to now do well in life and you don't want to fall into a suicide rat again. Then I have to do coaching, then I'm not doing counseling.

Ian Faria: So counseling is a

Djagmo: temporary painkiller.

Ian Faria: Temporary counseling is like a painkiller. It's a fix. A fix.

Djagmo: Okay.

Ian Faria: Okay. Yeah. Helping you understand it is not, uh, what anybody requires. They just want to handle their pain at that point of time. Got it. Yeah. But coaching is boss I to make you stronger, bigger, better, so that you know you don't have similar problems in the future.

Ian Faria: Right. What most councilors say, anytime you have problem and this, you come back to me because they get repeat business. And I really think it's not, is I think God's work and therefore for counseling, I don't charge. Wow. Okay. But I'll give you that one session, two sessions free. Correct. Even if we take one hour, two hours.

Ian Faria: Okay. But for coaching, judge you, because coaching is going to get you to higher level and get you more running.

Djagmo: Of course. And the, this couple that you're talking about, definitely needed coaching because I mean, you cannot counsel married couples. Right. They're gonna keep coming back again then.

Ian Faria: No, the counseling was to get them outta

Djagmo: court.

Djagmo: Okay. Okay. Okay.

Ian Faria: Started doing okay. Families helping each other. Okay. Okay. Nobody knows how to solve it. I said, no, no, you guys need coaching. You need serious coaching separately first, then together. Okay,

Djagmo: got it. And, uh, usually these, uh, relationship issues. What is the age group that you encounter, Ian? Like, has there been a situation where you encountered who have been married for like 40 years and, you know, has it, has that been a case?

Ian Faria: Yeah, actually, uh, the person who came to me for, for, uh, counseling supposedly, but I changed coaching. Coaching because counseling, I can do 10, 15 minutes, half an hour, one hour. But, uh, coaching takes time. Uh, came to me because he said, uh, you know, I'm married for 42 years. Okay. But my husband and myself not talked to each other for 12 years.

Ian Faria: Oh my God. Okay. The only way they were talking to each other is through abuse. Okay. So the husband will say, will any bee in the house make my breakfast? Okay. And the wife will say, if any bee wants breakfast, they should look in the kitchen.

Djagmo: Oh my God. Okay,

Ian Faria: today I'm tired. Any bee wants breakfast? Let them make their own breakfast today.

Ian Faria: This is the way they talk to, okay. Only two people like, oh my God, okay. I did some coaching for them and you won't believe they're best of married couple now, okay? If they walk hand in hand and know they, it's a couple from Myo. Very, very interesting case. Okay. So sometimes I get some shocks like that also, but they know sometimes you switch a counseling, coaching.

Ian Faria: Coaching because counseling is not required at that stage. Once you're out of your temporary problem, then you don't need counseling. You need coaching to better yourself. Okay? If you have a problem with a, like see, I'll give you a nice statement that might, uh, wrap this up nicely for you. If Bob has a problem with A, B, C, D, and E, the problem is not with A, B, C, D, and E.

Ian Faria: The problem is with Bob. Hmm. Now if you have a problem in marriage, you're probably quite likely to have a problem in office. You're quite likely have a problem with your friends. Great. So that is coaching, that is where you're saying boss, you want to solve all the issues for marriage, counseling, counseling I can solve in 10 minutes.

Ian Faria: I give you all facts. You go out and employ. That's it. But coaching is where we have to invest time and in into ourselves because it takes about 66, 67 days for a new habit to become the dominant. Right. Till then you need somebody to be with you on the journey. Right.

Djagmo: That's coaching. Got it. And, um, is self coaching doable?

Djagmo: Is it

Ian Faria: possible? Very. I, I don't think so. Got it. I don't think so. Because the problem that was caused was caused by you. Mm-hmm. So Einstein said something very powerfully. He says, you can't solve the problem from the mindset in which it was created. Right. The same brain caused the problem. The same brain wants to correct it.

Ian Faria: Seriously. Right? No. You need a mirror. Right. The mirror is the coach

Djagmo: cor. Ian, um, it was great talking to you. It was very, uh, fun. You know, I learned a lot of basic stuff. For example, uh, I've spoken to people about, uh, difference between training and coaching, but then you, uh, went a step back and said, let me first, uh, clear about teaching and training.

Djagmo: So that was like a cool thing. Okay. Yeah. Let's, uh, figure out between, I thought, uh, so far teaching and training are two same things, um, at least from what happens, uh, outside. And then, you know, counseling is different, coaching is different. There's so much to this world of, you know, people who are helping other people because, you know, uh, as a.

Djagmo: Outside person, right? Everything's like, oh, this person will talk to this person I this business. You know? That's how it comes across. So

Ian Faria: I like this.

Djagmo: No, I mean this, no, I'm, I'm, I'm, you know, coming out with that because I appreciate this side, right? That is why I can shamelessly go to that side and admit it, because now I see this side, and I think, first of all, from a layman's perspective, what I've come to realize is people need awareness about what is coaching or what is training or.

Djagmo: You know, it is, it is perfectly a normal thing for people to go to. Professional coaches, usually in our setup, right? We go to our parents or we go to our friends and talk about our problems, why we go and talk about them in the hope of, uh, probably getting, uh, insight from the other opposite person. But sometimes it turns out to be a negative effect because they only go and they worsen the problem that you go with, and then you come out with nothing.

Djagmo: And I think, uh, this is where, um, you know, uh, professional coaches needed, you know, who's trying to solve the problem rather than, you know, adding fire to the, sorry, fuel to the fire or something like that. And, yeah. Uh,

Ian Faria: j I wanna give you a very simple example. Sure, sure. Yeah. There's a guy from one of the big companies IBM came to know and he said, yeah, I need some serious coaching because for the last five years, I've not got a problem.

Ian Faria: Okay? So this guy came

Djagmo: as an individual. He didn't represent his IBM at all.

Ian Faria: To company. He came, cause he says his boss told him that there are a lot of gaps. They can't promote you, so you go and get some help out. Got it. He came to me. Uh, but you know, he focused on the issue where he was going abroad. He was doing a program, doing a presentation in, uh, Bangkok.

Ian Faria: And he said, if you can get me ready for that, no, it'll be much easier and company will pay you. So I'll come and give you the money. Mm-hmm. And it'll take about a month or 45 days for the money to be released by the company. I said, okay. We did this two, three sessions for the Bangkok tip. And after that he came back.

Ian Faria: I was waiting for this guy to continue his coaching, but he didn't come. And after I was waiting for the payment also, but he stopped answering the phone. Now finally I got fed up about the guy. I said, you know, I send up a nice message and said, boss to you, you know, apparently you got what you wanted. So that's it, you know, and that's it.

Ian Faria: We, we just, I forgot about him. Okay. Two years later, I got a call from the same guy, I've forgotten about him by that time. And he says, uh, Mr. Faria, this is so and so, so and so. I'm really sorry. I I came to you for coaching earlier. I said, when? And he said, you remember Bangkok? I, I said, by the way, you didn't pay, right?

Ian Faria: Yeah. She said, no, no, no. I'm, I'm coming to you now. I'll pay you. I said, so what, what about your promotion? You got your promotion? He said, no, see, Mr. Actually, that's the problem. The problem is I thought I had enough from you to get promoted. Uh, and my Bangkok presentation went very well. I thought they will promote me on that.

Ian Faria: Uh uh, but the promotion never came. Okay. Now do the math. His next jump, IBM difference. Wow. Okay. In two years time, he roommate 20 likes extra, which he didn't get. Plus the beating he took on his self esteem and his ego was probably much more than that also. And then, uh, he has to now eat humble pie and come to me and all that.

Ian Faria: I said first you do one thing. First you pay me for the earlier sessions of watching, then I will charge you two days late. So don't expect the old date, which I was charging two years ago. Mm-hmm. And I want everything to be paid now, otherwise I don't waste time talking to you. Right. Correct. If you want for free, take it and go.

Ian Faria: Then he paid everything and he got his benefit. But why I'm telling you this is if that guy thought he could self-coach after he got what he needed. Mm-hmm. It didn't work for him. Got it. Yeah. So there's a myth of that. Self-coaching. You can't self-coach. Got it. You can self improve. Got it. Self improve, and you can have an internal dialogue.

Ian Faria: If you're thinking that's coaching, that's fine for me. Mm-hmm. But it's you coaching yourself, in which case you are not able to see certain things that other people see. Somebody,

Djagmo: Ian, uh, this was not my original question, but after you told about this guy who came to you with the, you know, with the problem statement being, you know, I'm not getting a promotion.

Djagmo: See, uh, we can, uh, easily conclude this by saying that he, you know, to the people who are listening, Hey, you know what, coaches can help you solve any problem. But despite telling that people may not consider their problem beginner for, you know, uh, they might consider it too severe to take it to a coach, if you can list down, uh, 10 problems, or five or 10, whatever, weird or, you know, not uncommon so that people can realize, oh, this is also a problem that I can go to a coach.

Ian Faria: Yeah. So I would say definitely one of them is promotion. And definitely people are willing to pay for that because they get benefit out of it. I'm finding more and more kids coming for coaching now because parents know that they need the edge in the real world. Mm. Coaching early, let tell you, they suddenly go at that rate because the other kids in class don't have that coaching experience in them.

Ian Faria: And these kids are now able to understand life better. They're able to have the internal dialogue, they're able to talk to their parents, talk to their teachers differently. Right. And just gives them a whole new, uh, format for them. Correct. So the kids get the maximum benefits. So I would say kids also need coaching, but why aren't we going for coaching for relationships?

Ian Faria: We don't think our relationships are, are, uh, you know, valuable enough. Right. The problem is we think that coaching is required only for business process or systems. Right. That's, uh, that is not really coaching. That is, that is teaching. You need to teach people about systems and process, right? You know, if you're bringing about behavioral change and you're saying Six Sigma, all that, it's really trying to tweak a, a teaching into a training, okay?

Ian Faria: Or a training into a coaching. It doesn't work that way, but I'm saying there's a lot of gray areas and overlap, so we can always play with it, right? My serious advice for all of you is you don't need 10 reasons for coaching. What is the one thing that is troubling you or you feel is pulling you your value down?

Ian Faria: Now? Would it help your brand value to go and eliminate that or to find the hack and how to overcome it, right? Then you consider coaching, right? It could be that you have a temper problem. It could be that you have a relationship issue. It could be that you don't know how to present. You know, I do coaching presentations also.

Ian Faria: So if you are pitching for a hundred billion in, in finance to DC mm-hmm. You know, how do you pitch so that you get the money. Okay. So we do pitch coaching also. Great. Okay. With my experience, you know, you, everything requires some aspect of coaching, correct? Yeah. Yeah. So if you're specific, we can do coaching for that area.

Ian Faria: We can also coach teachers.

Djagmo: Yeah. That is definitely something that I had in my mind because I think that's probably schools must, you know, offer all their teachers some coaching, you know, by which it automatically, the standards of the schools are gonna go up, especially for kids. And when you said kids need coaching, ill, I was curious, what is the youngest one can bring a kid, take a kid to, to a

Ian Faria: coach?

Ian Faria: Uh, I would say when they can articulate well enough.

Djagmo: And that usually happens at what age? Usually? Typically, 5, 5, 6.

Ian Faria: 5 67. Right. But I would say an ideal age to look at coaching is the 10, 11, 12 Kenneth, each bracket. Right, right, right. Yeah. Before they become teenagers. Because a lot of the problems occur in, in, uh, adolescents.

Ian Faria: Right. When the hormones are 18. Right. And they want to challenge authority. Right. Yeah.

Djagmo: Cor, wonderful gradient. Um, You know, it was, it was lovely talking to you. Wonderful talking to you. Uh, totally, totally perception about a lot of stuff from me. Uh, I'm definitely gonna, you know, share, um, with my friends, right?

Djagmo: You know, about this conversation that I had. And, uh, I like doing that when, you know, when I know that for, for a fact. You know, as a group, we've been talking about something in a certain way and I realized something. It's natural for I think anybody, for me to just go and tell them, Hey, you know what, this is what I realized.

Djagmo: I think probably we should just give coaching a shot. I mean, why don't you want to like up your ante a little bit, right? Like, like level up a little bit. That's how I saw this. You have a problem or not. You can still level up, I think, with coaching. And it's also fun. Uh, I, I'm, I'm, I'm sure it's, um, also fun to be coached by somebody like you and, uh, grad, uh, thank you so much again for taking your time.

Ian Faria: Before we close, I don't know whether you can see this

Djagmo: title. Yes. Set Boundaries fine piece.

Ian Faria: Okay, so this is, these are two of the books I'm reading and I'm going to reinforce it by saying keep on buying books and reading them.

Djagmo: Listen on how to be heard. You know what, Ian, one of my question was book recommendation I, and it totally slipped.

Djagmo: Can you please feel free?

Ian Faria: Okay. I do some books that, uh, a good coach must be. Okay. One is an old book. It doesn't change much in his form and shape because the author died long back. So, Dr. Joseph Murphy, Indian guy coming from Pradesh, but shook up the world on the subconscious mind. It's called, the book is called The Power of Your Subconscious Mind.

Ian Faria: It's still worth a read, still worth a read, but newer books on the brain. I would advise to Ross and Tracy Allay, uh, for a book called The New iq. Okay, the New iq, Ross and Tracy Allay and, uh, your Brain at Work by David Rock. David Rock is not a brain guy, but he's a, he's a reporter and he did all of okay.

Ian Faria: So he makes it nice and presentable for the, for the common people to read. Right? This is one, yeah. If you're looking more at spirituality and how to quote the high end of self, then look at books Like Your Sacred Self by Wayne Di. Very nice book is not a new book. ofWe has Gone On. Gone On, but, uh, it's a good book to read.

Ian Faria: One of the books that helped me early is a book called, uh, awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins. A nice book, very well written book, talks a lot about neurolinguistic programming right. And all that. And calls it associated conditioning because he got sued for using the name by Richard and Brandler and Grinder.

Ian Faria: So those are some books on of the past, but, uh, some of the new books that are coming out, uh, I think are worth reading also. So, Ken Ashley, uh, Ken Aswell has written a book on the brain. It's called The Brain Book. Okay. Rita Carter also written a book called The Brain Book. Okay. They're two different, okay, two

Djagmo: different, but both are titled the same.

Djagmo: The Brain Book.

Ian Faria: The Brain Book. Both are called the Brain Book. Okay. So very nice, very Diagrammatically Illustrated and all that. Very nice. So I would say coaches have to know how the brain works first. Correct. Ian? Ian. Uh, and it's worth

Djagmo: Ian. Uh, you also said, you know, you read a book, almost a book a day.

Djagmo: Right? I mean, if you can, uh, is there any, uh, is do you think people make mistake, uh, make mistakes while they read a book? Is there something that, because you've read so many books, is there some fundamental change that is needed when reading a book or any tips that

Ian Faria: use a pen? I mean, I like to read a hard copy book.

Ian Faria: So if you look at my, uh, my, my book always, there are books with me, always. Wherever I am, even in the lie, I'll find books. These cupboards are full of books. All these books. Wow, okay. Got it. Yeah, they all got books behind them. So I, I have 12,000 plus books. Okay. I give away about 3, 400, 500. But, uh, for me, I think, uh, your knowledge has to be constantly upgraded.

Ian Faria: And the whole thing is we're living in a world where, you know, at least 50,000 books come out a year, and even just from the us okay? So you can never stay in touch. You can never stay. But if you don't want to read and you want to just listen to, uh, podcasts, or you wanna watch a nice YouTube video, that's your preferred mode of learning.

Ian Faria: Please go ahead with that. You don't have to read. Mm-hmm. Watch the, watch. The, there are audio books

Djagmo: also these days of the same books that get released. Audio

Ian Faria: is another beautiful channel to,

Djagmo: and, and

Ian Faria: lot of, right, right,

Djagmo: right. And, you know, uh, you were about to say something, you use a pen, you mark all the things in a, in a, in a book is

Ian Faria: it, you mark things, you underline them, you highlight them.

Ian Faria: And, but the most important thing is take it and put it into a summary form or write an article or a blog. You do that. I do a lot of sharing. I don't write full blogs on a book essay, but I do quote, you know, authors in, uh, in other places. And definitely when I'm speaking, I quote the author's name, A lot of people tell me, you already learned it.

Ian Faria: So why are you giving the author credit? I'm saying No. What? It's, it's a matter of giving the originator of the thought and idea credit for that. I think

Djagmo: you should pay it forward. And you don't skip pages at all when you read, you read from cover to cover?

Ian Faria: No. There, there are Sometimes when I find the chapter is getting boring, I might just go to the next chapter and see if there's any two or three chapters.

Ian Faria: If I have not underlined enough, I just grabbed the book.

Djagmo: Ha, that's that. That's probably what I was looking for. Yeah.

Ian Faria: I just grabbed the book. But, uh, there are some books I've read six times. Right, right. So every time I read it, I'll underline a different pen and then I find one minute. Two, why did I underline this?

Ian Faria: This time? I didn't underline. Right. Right. And then I find maybe because I've evolved that level now, the earlier points don't come up because it's become me. Right, right. But this point I could not have understood earlier. So now I delete it.

Djagmo: Got it. Got it. Gian, thank you so much again. Uh, I'm, I'm definitely looking forward.

Djagmo: Uh, you know, another time, uh, probably with, I'll come up with some now that I know, I'll come up with some interesting specific questions if you'll be up for it. Um, this podcast is brought to you by Edison os a no-code EdTech platform to operate an online education business. Knowledge entrepreneurs can use Edison OS to sell online courses from their own websites.

Djagmo: Manage Online Masterclass, launch mobile learning app. Sell online practice tests for competitive exams, run online learning communities, digitizing their offline tutoring business, use it as a learning management system, and a lot more cases in the domain of knowledge commerce.

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